I've finally realized what's missing in my life. It isn't a man it isn't money. What I really want, need and must have is an Evil Nemesis. I'm not talking about your ordinary, everyday type of menace. No, I don't want the cable guy who comes two hours late or the plumber who has the wrong part. I want a man who will make it his life's work to thwart me at every turn. You see me in the express lane at the grocery store you throw a few extra items into my basket. I reach for the last piece of pie you swoop in and take from my hands. The winning lottery ticket? You buy it before me. I want you to peer from behind a wall and give me an evil grimace, shaking your fist at me! Your mischievous laugh will haunt my ears for all of eternity. Your pay, you ask? Nothing! This work, the work of being my Evil Nemesis, must be your passion project. I know you're out there! You'll be the Penguin to my Batman, the Lakers to my Celtics! I beg you I plead with you please make my life a living hell. It ain't like I got a man in my life who is doing it already! Reply with the title of your favorite book in the Subject line.
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